Loook at this!!! これみて!!!

David................. I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

There is somthing seriusly wrong whit the world "order"

Yeah... What on Earth happend!?

Why is money controlling the world, why can't we live "freely"? Why does the "socienty" basacly force uss to have a jobb so the world can go "around"
This is wrong... so wrong. And I am so glad the world banks are failing.
It's time we all make  achange, and clean up all the mess, and start all over again!

And I want to help! I am not hsure "why" I am here, but I feel it's becouse of my imagination.To tell the world abaut a beautifull storie.
Remember that we all "Are" we all "Exist" becouse we have a soul.

Moast peapole on this Earth are "from" the Eath spirits, you are the children of Earth... so what are peaole doing to their mother? ):

Now let me tell this... I am not from Eath, my "Mother" are not Earth. (Yeah go ahead, call me crazy if you want to whaist your time whit that)
I can feel deep inside that I have been to so many places.... But none like this, this place is unlike any I have ever been to.
I mis the freedom, I miss to fly, I miss the tecnology.... I miss so mutch.
Yes, I am an so called "Alien".

This world is so full, haha! XD But seriusly everyone.... I know that everyone on this planet want, deep inside them, cange.

This place is so cruppted, so..... wrong. But everything can change, change is mutch more easy that peaole might think.
I woud recoment to watch this lill video, it's truly amazing.:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OibqdwHyZxk&list=WL061AF4642BA983BA&index=37

I guess.... It's to soon to tell more abaut me and the whole Alien thing... Let's just say that I am starting to remember thremendusly!

~Kiara

I'm sorry ):

I'm sorry. I know I wrote that hatefull post abaut my mother some huors ago. I am realy sick of her illness having grown up whit it, it came at such a stupid time and I amrealy realy tierd...

When you are extreamly nagry and frustrated it's so easy to take it out on somone else...

I am better now, posting this on the Starseed Network was a very clever thing to do, peaole there are so nice and lovable, no other beings woud help me like that.
It was just what I needed.

Thank you my fellow Sarseeds! :)

 This is what I posted there:

I am sorry this had to be my first real post on this wonderfull sire... But I realy need some suport right now.
I hpe this don't make me seam very slefish or somthing....

So..... -
My Mom has a phsycological depression illness. She get's it almoast every 3-4th year. So for me growing up she somthimes suddanly got sick and I coun't see her.
So I had to live whit my grandmom.

No she has got it again.
 I never felt that it was realy my fault as a kid, but this time I realy do. I have serius problems whit school, amking everyone around me angry and frustarted over me.
And espechealy my mom. Although she get's moastly sad and upsett. I know she feels that everything is her fault, that she maby coud have done somthing abaut it the past.

I realy can't help it, I have Dyslexia, and I have never liked or enjoyed school, both sochialy and learning wise. It never gave me any meaning...
I now some other Strseeds also have felt this way in school probably. I have never got the point whit school the way it is, I have always had truble learning.
So in the last 5 years now, I have skipped school a lot. Becouse whenever I go to school I ualy feel horrible, bored, angry, frustarted, misunderstood etc.

But of course, in this society it is recuierd to go to school to get a "life". Atleast that is what eveybody says to me.

When I started on Junior Highs School my teachers contacted the Childrens Protection Cervice becouse of my school problems. Making my mom feel realy upset, of course, and at that point I know she must have feelt like a realy bad mother.
(She is a extreamly good mother!)

I felt helpless as well, becouse I know that I can never, and have never fit into School. No mattter how many thimes the Children Protection Cervice tryed to hlp me nothing got beter, it got worse.
I have no motivation for school at all, peapole tryed to help me whit that but it's no good.

So when I started on High School they (children pro cervice) decided that I shoud move to my Grandmom, since they felt that it was mom's fault that I was unable to go to school.
I have lived whit my Grandmom for over a year now, we don't get along and noting is better.

I realy don't know what to do anymore! TT_TT Last week the Cildren Protection cervce decided that maby it was best for me to live whit my mom afther all, and decided that I coud move home again afther Fall vacation.
But today my mom get Angst and Depressions becouse she is so afraid to have me home again, she can't take the presshure...

So.... My own mother can't have me living whit her anymore aparantly. And it is all my fault, becouse I can't handle School... I feel so lost!

I feel like nobody understands me, not my family, not the sochiety, nobody!

Some mental suport from anybody? Please!?
I realy need it...


I wished I had stranght enough to talk to my friends abaut this, but I have very few and I am to shy and I don't want to boter them whit my problems...
Sorry to bother you whit this! I just felt like posting it in thos forum, I did not know who else to tell D':

So Mutch Love ~ Kiara


Like said; I am feeling better now, I shoud focus on my path. A user on the site did a reading for me, and I was so shcoked becouse it was so incredible RIGHT!
:
So it seems to me like you are in the middle of a confrontation with someone. I think you should let go of that situation because you cannot win. I suggest moving on and letting go what has happened. thinking of revenge just means your still holding onto the situation. I see there is something that you love, you are really creative as a person and you should express this creativity in anyway you can. Im sensing another female figure that's close with you know that might share these same ideas. If that's the case then its time you get to work, start planning ahead for what you want to do and want to be in your life. Plan as far into the future as you can, talk about it with your friend, get excited about it and dont let ANYONE tell you what you can or cant do, that's only for you to decide.

The difficolt confrontation is moast likely my mom. And I also feel that there is not mutch I can do abaut it so I shoud just let go. And the same whit School.

And the thing I love is so obius! My books! My prechius William! I shoud start focusing on that becouse that is what I am burning for in life, Whenever I talk abaut my stories whit anyone I burn whit exitement! :D

And the Female is also pretty obius, It's my friend Jenny! It coud hardly be anyone else :P We have recently figuerd that we have a lot in commen, mutch more than what we previusly thought. I am writing letters to her and feel like I can tell her anything.
Thank you Jenny! :D <3

And yes, nobody can tell me what to do whot my own life! I have been thinking that for years! :3

STUPID STUPID STUPID WOMAN!!!!

I know I am going to sound extreamly heartless and like and ashole when I write this. But I am very FUCKING TIERD!!!

My Mom is stupid! She is a fucking selfish ashole!!!!! Yes! I think it's selish that she is making herself suffer becouse of MY problems!!
Yeah, I know that she is my mom and all, an that becouse that I havee problems she feels guylty and powerless... But com on! I am s stubborn peace of shit!
The reason I have been struggeling whit school was becouse of the fact that I have Dylexia, wich no one can help, I was born whit it! And SHE feels guylty becouse she coud not do anything abaut that!? THAT'S SOOOOOO STUUUUUUPIIIID!!!!!!
She feels guylty becouse I started skipping school, she feels that everything is HER fault! FUCK YOU!!!! Was it YOUR decision that I started skipping school becouse it was so challeging for me mental and school wise? NO!!! It was MINE!!!

I hink she is SELFISH and SELFHARMING!!! She is STUPID!!! I know she feels a responsibility, and all that. Becouse she is my mom. And she is a realy good mom for feeling that responsibility. But let me tell you this woman. There is NOTHING YOU CAN DO!!! There si NOTHING anybody else can do!!
Becouse this is all my descisions!!! This is all MY life! You can't controll me like a muppet, but if you coud it woud actualy be right to feel sutch a guylt and responsibility!

You know this goes all out on ME!? Yesturday I was so happy, so fulkommen as we say is Norwegian. And today you ruined EVERYTHINg for me Mom! YOU are now making ME suffer!
Just when I though things woud finaly be okay, just when I had  peace in mind... Fucking Bitch!!!
I am not the one having real problems, it's you! And YOU are making ME suffer for YOUR problems!!!

And I know you feel the same way when I am skipping school and all... But I realy can't handel that OKAY!?  I think you are childish and ignorant right now!
And thsi time I want'f Fucking cry for you, you are an asshole!! I won't stuport you in this! I don't want to see you til you are all better!
Becouse that is only gonna make me suffer, and I don't belive I deserve to suffer becouse you are an ignorant jerk!
And you BETTER be able to take care of Usagi! If you make an innocent little purehearted rabbit suffer becouse of you then I will never forgive you!!

I love you mom and I hope you will get better soon, but I don't want to see a depressed and sad fac on you! So I don't want to see you before you are all better! And right now be concern abaut yourself not other. What are you REALY afraid of anyway? You think I just are goiing to die becouse I can't hanle school or somthing?
Trust me I am going to be great! Becouse I want to.
Well... I think it's becouse of me you are like this... If not then I have toaly failed XD

Bashar - There is no real outer reality, the only thing that is actualy real is you'r experiance of things.

This tells me somthing extreamly important. We all see things in diffrent way, we all have "our" experiance of reality.

Humon's words of wisdom

I just had to copy Humon's Journal to my own, it is so true!

"I was at a party the other day where a guy slapped a girl's butt and she freaked out, yelled at him and pushed him hard into a wall. Afterwards the guy asked his friends, "What the hell? Why did she freak out like that? I didn't even hit her that hard. Girls are so uptight"

While she did overreact a bit (I could hear the slap from where I stood, so it properly hurt more than he thought), I've heard this kind of comment before. "Why are women so boring? Why do they freak out just because you touch their ass/breasts? If a woman grabbed my ass I wouldn't react like that"

I just want to give a quick explanation for those guys who has yet to figure it out. Men are stronger physically than woman, there's no way to get around it, and from the day we were born women are taught that men can't be trusted. Well, except for our dads, and possibly our brothers, but we shouldn't trust your creepy uncle too much.
"Don't talk to strangers" really means "Don't talk to strange men", and we tell women not to get raped but not men that they shouldn't rape. "I'm a man, I can't help myself" is often heard when his girlfriend complains about him getting a bit too close to other girls. "Men are animals that can't control themselves. They are all dangerous. Never let a man be alone with someone else's child, he will surely rape it, and the same goes for you, young woman. All men are sexual offenders just waiting to get a chance"

That is very harshly said of course, but that's the core of what women are told throughout their lives, even by their own fathers. And even though we don't run away in horror as soon as we see a guy, for a long time before we get to know him it's somewhere in the back of our heads that he's dangerous. Studies have shown that even most men's biggest fear is other men (Getting beat up).

So if you're a guy, imagine that a guy much bigger and stronger then you grabbed your ass and started flirting with you. That's why girls freak out over a slap on the butt."
She wrote it on DA: http://humon.deviantart.com/journal/44134053/

This is so true, I am terrefyed of men/guys flirting whit me, I am generaly afraid of men... And so many just think abaut looks, and so many are unfathefull.... I am discusted over how unserius guys can be.

What am I looking for in a man? : Kind, Sensetive, Positive, Funny, Caring, Helpfull... Yes, I want a Prince chraming :P

Part 1 Awakening - I am so tierd

I am so tierd: written while crying my eyes out.

I woke up to day, just wanting to cry my eyes out. I am so very tierd, I have lived on this planet in only 17 years, but allredy I am tierd of it.

School: Why? What's the point of it? So I can get a jobb and an education? Why? Will earning money to "survive" realy make me happy, is it what I am realy looking for? NO!

I am sick and tierd in the rules that have been created in this society. You have to get and jobb, earn money for food, live a long life that has just been whaisted in achiving nothing moast in moast of the chases.

If I am going to stay in this place I need a purpose, a REAL purpose. Not just doing what eveyone else does.
Can't othe peaole feel the wrongness in this society? In this entire worlds sociery? What's the point of living if you can't have freedom?

I want to do somthing!! But I am 17, I can't get a jobb yet, everyone aaround me is focing me to go to school witch I have always found conpleatly meaningless!

I want to go home! Oh, I just want to go home! Get me home.

Why does it all have to be so hard for me!? Becouse I MAKE it hard to myself... I am not, I am trying to make it simple. But no one understands.
This world is  a Prison for me. The money system is  prison. You can't go anywhere whitout money, you can't by anything whitout money.
You need  a jobb to get money.

We are so cought up in out own businiss that we have forgott how to actualy live.

I am so sick of it, I am so sick of everyone around me. If I can't go home atleast give me somone from home, becouse I speak a diffrent language than everyone I have met.

I am so alone, I just want some company whit somone that understands!

I had always had so mutch difficulity sochiolicing whit peapole, I am always alone. i am missing a conpany I have never had before, I want to feel that feeling when talking to somone. Like we don't even need to talk becouse we allredy know what the other are feeling.
....................................................

Written a little afther:

I coud realy use some real conpany other than myself...

This is how I feel, and this is how I have felt all life, 17 years.

Still.... I know I can do it... But it woud be nice to have some peace once in a while. To see my kind...
I know I am all powerfull, like every beeing in this universe. Everyone can be all powefull if they want. But lonelyness... What am I gonna do abaut that?

I think that's one of those things I just can't do anything abaut. Peapole around me can't fill that lonely gap.

I think I shoud try and find  amedetation class on how to contact your guieds and inner self... That I shoud need.

Other news I just listen to on of the Bashar channelings:

http://www.ashtarcommandcrew.net/video/bashar-i-am-meditation-you-are-special

This realy helped me calm down! Thank you~

I have been playing Star Ochean for 6 huors again today, I decided to re-play the whole game! And I am realy beter than the last time!!
I just love that game! Even if I want it to have many more planets... XD

I am so having a crush on Edge, he is so adorable! /// Ichigo like figure, around 16-17, blond spiky hair and green eyes~ <3 So cuute! ///

The game's music have VERY diffrent soundtracks, somthimes it sound like a Nintendo fighting games, and somthimes it's epic Orchestera music. I prefer the classic Orcester music... Like this soundtrack:

I realy want the old Star Ocean games... It's kinda loser-ish to only play the latest one on PS3...

Is it realy wrong to want Yaoi between the Kind of Tropp (I think that was the anme XD) from planet Roax and Edge....!?  O3o

I know Edge X Faize is the popular pairing but uh... Edge is just like how I see Ichigo, meaning he is UKE! X3

Some weeks ago I bought Doctor Who sesong 5 on DVD. I like the new Doctor, even though I think moast loved the 10th Doctor the moast (I did) I do love the 11th to. He seam more.... Human to me. :3

He's cuter and I love his hair.

I think sesong 6 is currantly airing, just like Torchwood Miracle day (Ianto come baaaack!!!) and I will proabably end up downloading it instead of whaiting over a year for the DVD box to come out... -.-

I'm kinda dissapointed in the Japanese Uke-Ichigo fangirls and the rest of them actualy, they usaly explode when sutch a pairing like Ginjou and Ichigo shows up, becouse it has so many hints and moment. But aparntly not to Ginjou X Ichigo... -.-

Ginjou are not popular whit the Girls... it seam. And KuuTsuki is realy popular even if it has realy little moments. It's kinda backwards... Oh well. I am still trying my best in the fandom to spread the GinjouXIchigo popularity :P

Can't whait to get my Fan Art from Jenny-chan! I felt kinda bad for making her draw since she had so mutch else to do... D: But atleast I am paying her^^

I like drawings more than money! :D

Lol, at a iscussion on the Bleach Asulym forum I just got reminded of how little I belive in "evil" I only belive in "bad" and "good" choices. Meaning choisies that realy hurt other and yourself and choises ment to help everyone, whitout intentionaly hurting anyone or anything^^

Ahhh~ Another beautifull song from Star Ocean ^.^

 



Lastly a message to myself: I realy need to stopp worrying so mutch, I need to sit down, relax and enjoy~

Life and Unshureness

Dirrea is so fun~ Damn my stomac! -.-" Earth! You food suck! XD Ms-Space Princess's can't tak it! TT3TT

Tell you somthing funny...Yesturday when I went home for Japanese class the weather was pretty clear, I took the underground and when I got out it was raining like the sky was falling down! DX And I did not bring my umbrella whit me XD I'm so clumsy...

Todays talk:

There is so much tension around me latly, abaut the world. I am reading in so many Alternative forums abaut the same thing but diffrent stories.
I belive the 2012 theories to be true, but not the end of the world like...

And the "comet" Elenin and all that, it's realy confusing. And the Acsention.... I want to go home! My fear is that I will be left here on Earth becouse I have done somthing wrong or was unable to do what I was supose to!
I want to see my family again! T3T (What i they have forgotten me!? D:)

But I have figuerd to just take it as it come, it will happen what it happens... whatever happen. I need to stop reading all those difrent stories and rather focus on myself XD

(Yes i like to write mutch, I am a rather shy and quiet girl of many words)


I just found out that my friend Jenny is intrested in Alternative things just like me! :D It's rare to be out age and belive in stuff... I belive i am the youngest at the Asthar command forum XD


Sooooooooooooooooo........... Normal stuff. I'm so glad to have Japanese again, I missed my frinds so! They are the only peapole that can make me laugh.
I am always sad though, whenever I see pictures of them latly I wished I coud still be at the same school and class as them.
It's sad when you for the first time in your life you find somone you are comftable whit, and only afther  ahalf a year you slipp away.... If only I had been better at school...

Makes me cry... (Yeah I'm a wimp -.-')

Im's so sleepy these days.... All I want to do is lie in my bed and dream sweet dreams! D:  Sleeping is nice~ I love to sleep~...

So, I did not have time to watch the Bleach Hell Movie or make that Bleach list to Jenny, or write more on my book today.... School life shure takes moast of your time.

Now I wan to go to sleep even if the time in Norway Oslo is only 20:58 right now... XD Nighty night~